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快来取经!高考英语高分作文,看人家咋写的

2016/4/4 16:34:00 114招生网浙江站 【 】  

   英语写作程度的高低往往能反映一个学生的英语综合素质。但英语写作一直是中国学生的薄弱环节,有的同学觉得自己即使能够一鼓作气写完,但也拿不了高分,这是什么原因呢?今天邀请了浙江工业大学教授楼荷英老师和金华一中高级教师何建军老师为大家讲讲英语高分作文怎么写。

  高考英语作文

  怎么审题?

  (2014年作文题)

  学校图书馆需要购置一批新书, 现向学生征求意见。假如你是李越,你认为学校图书馆最需要购置科普类图书(popular science books)和文学类图书(literary books)。请你用英语给图书馆王老师写一封100-120词的信,推荐这两类书,并分别说明推荐理由。

  (2015年作文题)

  在班级活动中,当你的想法与大多数同学不一致时,你是坚持自己的观点并说服别人,还是尊重大多数同学的意见?请你以“When I Have a Different Opinion”为题,用英文写一篇100~120个词的短文。要求如下:

  1.从以上两种做法中选择一种;

  2.以具体事例阐述你选择的理由。

  通过对这两年书面表达的体裁分析,笔者发现它们都属于半开放性的议论文,要求采用叙议结合的方式。叙议结合的文章写作有别于纯粹的议论文,且比纯粹的议论文写作难度大。当然,这样的体裁更能反映出作者的写作水平和写作能力。为了让考生通过写作充分反映出自己的语言水平和语言应用能力,也为了符合高中课标的要求,命题贴近高中生学习和生活,使考生有话可说。

  然而,题目看似简单并不意味着审题要求不高。在2014年的书面表达题目中,考生就应该注意以下几处:(1)意见建议应该来自于学生;(2)推荐的书为科普类与文学类两类;(3)科普类书籍与科学书籍并不相同。在2014年,考生最容易犯的错误就是仅仅侧重于某一类书籍,而没有做到两者兼顾。

  2015年对学生提出了更高的要求。要点如下:(1)作文所写事例应该来自“班级活动”;(2)题中提出了不仅仅坚持自己的观点,更要说服别人;(3)题目中提出了尊重大多数人的意见,并非少数人的意见;(4)题目要求考生在两种做法中选择一种,不能做中间派。许多考生忽略第一点:班级活动,所以偏题和跑题现象严重。有些考生引用了名人事例来论述、有些将与几位朋友一起搞活动的实例当作班级活动实例,还有的直接把体裁改为纯粹的议论文、文章中无实例……部分考生将课堂教学当作班级活动,这也有失偏颇,因为“班级活动”的定义一般指的都是班级组织的特别活动,而非课堂教学活动。第二个常见的问题是题目中明确要求“从以上两种做法中选择一种”观点进行讨论,而考生坚持“折中讨论”。一些考生认为既要尊重多数人的意见,又要坚持自己的观点与原则,结果反而丢分。

  总之,2014年、2015年的高考书面表达话题简单,但题目字字珠玑。只有审题到位,才能充分发挥语言实力的优势,获得作文高分。

  如何规范考场写作 

  考场写作是对考生心理素质和专业素质的综合检测,与平时写作训练不同,考场写作不仅在时间安排上更加紧张,在规范性上也要求更高。要实现考场作文的规范写作,先从考场写作的一些不良习惯入手,见不贤而内自省也。

  首先,最容易忽视的写作习惯就是仔细审题。

  高考英语书面表达并非仅仅考查考生的语言表达,作文测试其实在看到题目那一刻起就已经开始。审题准确对于理清思路、把握写作方向至关重要。写作考试中必须留出一定的时间审题。许多人认为高中英语作文题干大多以中文出现,一目了然,无须在审题环节费心思。为了节省时间,考生直奔主题写作即可。在2015年高考书面表达中,许多考生根本没有准确理解什么是班级活动。于是,偏题、跑题现象突出。平时,考生们一直关注的是题目的“要求”部分,忽视题目的前半部分,认为明白要写的大致方向,就可以动笔答题。今年的书面表达题目就专治这些“顾尾不顾头”的考生。一些考生只关注到了“班级”,于是随意选取了一个学校生活场景,例如课堂。因此,审题仍然有误,因为“班级活动”指的是以班级为单位组织的课堂教学以外的活动。

  其次,考生应该“主动审题”而不是“被动审题”。

  “主动审题”指在审题过程中剖析题目的逻辑、找出提示与主题之间的逻辑关联、理解题目内容的升华与延伸,做到真正领悟题目的表面与深层要求。其次,再锐利的眼睛也不如勤奋的笔尖。在审题的同时划出要点,有利于理清思路,正确看题。

  审题到位后,建议在草稿纸上罗列大致的篇章结构安排、关键信息。用一两分钟罗列写作纲要不仅不会耽误时间,而且有助于在正文写作中保持思路清晰,防止写作中途思路短路、结构混乱,实际上也就等于节省了大量思考的时间。

  正文写作环节,首先必须做到卷面整洁规范。考生并不需要写出非常独特漂亮的字体,但是一定要做到整齐划一。有些考生有一个非常不好的习惯:随意乱点。英语的句号就是一点,因此随意一点可能会让考官误以为是标点符号。其次,书写准确也非常重要。考生必须做到下笔胸有成竹,尽量避免反复涂改,保证卷面整洁。

  另外,在文章语言规范性上,考生应该避免以下错误:

  1.句子结构不完整。尤其是在一些复合句的写作中,考生容易“虎头蛇尾”,只写好从句,却没有写好主句。例如有些考生将because引导的原因状语从句单独写成了一句话,直接丢失了主句。

  2.简单句过多。句子精练与句子简单是两个不同的概念。英语写作不一定要一味追求句式复杂,精练的句式也能写得妙笔生花。如:When he was seen stealing, he ran away. 可以精简为When seen stealing, he ran away. 但是,如果是简简单单的“主谓宾”模式的简单句,出现太多则会拖全文后腿。那么应该怎么改变句式单一的问题呢?答案是应该使用多种从句、非谓语动词形式,丰富文章句式,并且用词组来丰富单句的层次感。此外,插入语也是一个增强句子层次感的有效武器。

  3.句子过于冗长。太长、太复杂的句子只会让考官感觉晦涩难懂,破坏了文章灵动之美。并且,长句写作是错误多发点,要谨慎运用。

  4.高级词汇错用。许多考生为了彰显语言功力,堆砌华丽的辞藻,一不小心弄巧成拙。其实,有时小词活用反而比大词滥用更让人眼前一亮。

  5.用字母代替人名、地名等。在考场作文中,尽量不要将人名、地名等表明身份的信息“具体化”,考生可以用代词代指人,可以用our city等泛指性词汇代指地点,否则,又想具体化,又只能用A,B代替,给人一种不伦不类的感觉。

  考场相当于战场,没有规矩,则打不了胜仗。书面表达的战役,从翻开题目时就已经开始,只有做到审题、卷面、语言三规范,才能为语言水平的展现提供一个扎实的基础,进而取得满意的分数。

  高分作文看一看 评一评

  范文一

  During class activities, we will inevitably encounter situations where our opinions differ from most students. From my perspective, I prefer to respect the variety originated from the following reasons.

  

  Once my classmates provoked a discussion about how to spend our last yet precious activity of class before graduation. Most students chose to hold a party whereas I insisted on seeing a movie. At last they persuaded me by listing some advantages and we all enjoyed the party. Through it, the cohesion of the class was enhanced, everyone’s potential motivated and mutual trust built.

  The impressive experience dawns on me that the variety’s opinion is what it takes to ensure their welfare. Thus it does deserve our respect as long as it is appropriate.

  点评:

  该文章给人的第一印象是:语言精练、句型丰富。文章的开头段和文中使用了inevitably, encounter,provoke, whereas, cohesion, enhance, dawns on sb 等高级词汇,且使用语境恰当,体现了作者较扎实的语言功底。

  此外,文章做到了句型变化多样,首段运用了定语从句(encounter situations where …),第二段最后一句使用了独立主格形式(everyone’s potential motivated …),最后一段首句运用表语从句(what it takes …)。

  当然,文章仍有以下问题:在首段出现了originate一词的错误用法,正确形式应该是originating,属于主被动关系的混淆错误;provoke的主语搭配不妥。

  总体来说,文章结构完善、用词地道、句型多变,是一篇佳作。

  范文二

  Living in a world full of differences, we should take a proper attitude when our opinion differs from others.

  Days ago, I had an argument with classmates about how to decorate our school during the Children’s Day. I thought the paintings of kids would be great while others all approved of flowers. I was in a dilemma if I should change my thought. However, after I weighted the strengths of two sides, it dawned on me that I should stick to my own opinion with confidence. Therefore, I tried hard to persuade my friends to follow my decision and managed it. Finally, we made it!

  On account of my experience, I think we should firmly believe in ourselves, having confirmed that we are right. As the old saying goes,“Being yourself is the only way to succeed.”

  点评:

  用一个词来概括本文的特点,即natural。纵观全文,作者并未使用复杂的长句或者堆砌华丽的辞藻来博人眼球。文章最大的亮点是词组的运用:in a dilemma, dawn on sb, stick to, with confidence, make it等等。词组的恰当运用加强了语言的生动性,使文章变得灵动。作者熟知如何避免语言的单调乏味,能运用同义词表述同一个概念,如作者分别用manage it, make it, succeed三种形式表示了“成功”。

  另外,在首尾两端分别运用了非谓语动词形式,形成了语法上的对应,也是语法水平与篇章结构把握能力的体现。

  范文三

  Holding different opinions even towards a simple topic is quite common; yet it’s quite embarrassing to think differently from most of your classmates. Feeling alone, left-out or even helpless, one can easily give up his idea and join the mainstream. However, I won’t “give in” if I believe I am right to some degree.

  A few weeks ago, our class were talking about the plan of the graduate-trip. Most students were in preference to organize the trip by our own, believing that with teachers’ company the trip would be less interesting. Brave and determined, I threw out my view that safety was much more important than mere fun. After showing them some terrible accidents of traveling without supervising, they agreed with me in the end.

  So when you find out you have a different idea, please don’t lose heart. Instead, stick to it, and prove it right.

  点评:

  本文最显著的特点是词汇以及非谓语动词形式的灵活运用。文中出现了三个非谓语动词的形式:(1)Feeling alone, left-out or even helpless… (2) believing that with teachers’ company… (3)Brave and determined,… 非谓语动词形式的有效运用丰富了文章句式。

  文章运用了不少高级词汇,如:mainstream, to some degree, supervising, left-out等。当然,文中也有一个词组in preference to使用错误,本文中应该改成have a preference for,但这个错误是为了尽量使用较高级词汇所致。全文中高级词汇的高频使用体现了作者扎实的语言功底。

  此外,文章论述有据、说理有力,值得学习。

  范文四

  In our class activities, we may be in a dilemma that whether should us insist on our original opinion or not when we have a different one? My answer is respecting the suggestions the majority of students hold.

  Never will I forget the experience that my class planned a trip. Most reached an agreement that the A Mountain is the best choice while I firmly believe that the B Lake is better. I tried my best to persuade others but finally failed. I arrived at the destination unwillingly but to find the view seen from the mountain top was so charming that it strike to my heart! Thinking back on myself, I realized that I was too surbborn to accept different thoughts.

  As an old saying goes like that “The minority should obey the majority”. When my opinions are different from most of my classmates, I will listen carefully and respect their views.

  点评:

  本文语言流利,句型多样。文中运用了同位语从句(We may be in a dilemma…)、倒装句(Never will I forget…)、宾语从句(I firmly believe that…)等。同时,作者把非谓语动词形式与从句相结合,增加了句式灵活性,如Thinking back on myself, I realized that…

  然而,文章中也出现了一些为尽量使用高级词汇和复杂句型而导致的错误:(1)In our class activities, we…… whether should us (应改为we should) …… (2)I arrived at …… that it strike to (strike应为struck,并作及物动词使用)…… (3)Thinking back on myself (think back on sth意思是 “回想过去发生的事”,此处使用语境错误), I realized …… surbborn(拼写错误,应为stubborn)…… (4)As an old saying goes like that “……” (应为As an old saying goes: “……”) 。

  此外,文章第二段首句“Never will I……”虽然语法上行得通,但不符合英文表达习惯。

  范文五

  During the class activities, I’d like to insist on my own view and try to persuade others when I have a different opinion.

  I can remember there was a time when we discussed how to spend our vacation. While others all accepted to visit a museum, I desired to go hiking. Bravely, I stood before the class, highlighting the advantages of going sightseeing and riding bikes. Ultimately, we decided to go hiking.

  From my perspective, only(by) knowing everyone’s opinion can we make the best decision. When you try to persuade others, you will practice your communication skills and build up your confidence. Just have a try! It’s not the consequence but the experience that really matters.

  To conclude, insisting on your view and try(trying) to persuade others is an ideal choice to make the activity better!

  点评:

  本文文笔流利、观点鲜明、逻辑思维严谨,在清晰记叙班级活动的同时,点明了坚持自我的重要性。

  文章给人印象最深刻的就是在自然、流畅的言辞中蕴含了地道的英语词汇,彰显出作者扎实的词汇功底。例如:highlight, ultimately, build up等词汇都能运用自如,使用时结合不同的句型句式。

  文章也做到了句式多变,避免了一味简单句的沉闷感,使用了倒装句和强调句句型等。需要指出的是,在倒装句的使用中,文章出现错误, “only + 状语”位于句首才是引导倒装句型的正确形式。

  此外,文章最后一段try一词应该与前文中insisting同为动名词形式。

(来源于浙江教育考试院)

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